My Menopause Story: How I Managed Sexual Health Changes and More

When you think of menopause, you may think of hot flashes, sleep problems, and irregular periods. While these are common, other symptoms, like sexual health and mental health, are not talked about as often. 

In this edited interview, Kari, who is 65 and lives in Texas, shares how she navigated the emotional and physical effects of perimenopause, the years leading up to menopause that can bring many changes in the body. 

ACOG: When did you first think you might be approaching menopause? 

Kari: About age 46 or 47, I started missing my periods. I was almost 39 when I met my husband and 40 when I had my daughter, so I thought I must be pregnant again, though we hadn’t been trying. I bought tons of pregnancy test kits, but it was actually the onset of perimenopause.

My perimenopause didn’t last very long. I had my last period within a year of when I started missing periods. 

ACOG: What symptoms did you notice beside the period changes?

Kari: I first began to notice my hair was thinning (mostly the hair on my head, but also my eyebrows). This seemed awful. It was my biggest issue until other physical stuff started happening.

Soon I noticed my skin texture changing. It was not as soft and silky. I also noticed my sex drive starting to wane, along with vaginal dryness. I spoke to an ob-gyn, and she said this is normal for some women. She had me try a number of things, including an oral estrogen pill. But then I had a mini-stroke and had to stop taking it. The next thing we tried was a vaginal cream that you insert with a little applicator, but that was messy. I also tried a vaginal ring, but it kept falling out. I was working out a lot, and doing push-ups and sit-ups made it fall out.

We looked for a lubricant that would help, and finally found one that actually worked for me and felt natural.

Now I use a vaginal estrogen tablet. This has been magic. It’s a little pill you insert twice a week, and it’s been a miracle drug for me. With all the trial and error, this is the thing that has worked the best.

I still have the hair issues. I had my eyebrows tattooed, and I don’t let anyone touch or style my hair. I don’t dye it. I’m doing everything I can to hold on to it. The hair loss bothers me more than any other symptom.

ACOG: What kind of doctor do you see?

Kari: We just moved to Dallas from California. In California, I had a long-term ob-gyn and general practitioner. They took very good care of me. We always spent time talking together before an exam. They really knew me.

Now in the Dallas area, I have a new general practitioner and an ob-gyn. After I explained to my ob-gyn that I was still having trouble, she was the one who wrote me a prescription for the vaginal tablet. She said I have to give credit to my doctors in the Bay Area for helping me try so many different options. I worked very hard with them, trying to find solutions. But the doctor I just met found the perfect product for me.

ACOG: Do you take any other medications or supplements now?

Kari: I take calcium. Besides the estrogen inserts, I take spironolactone for some edema (swelling) I have that is hereditary. This medication also helps my hair loss.

ACOG: Have you made diet or lifestyle changes? 

Kari: Before the COVID-19 pandemic, I worked out all the time. Physically, I was building muscle. Then my gym closed, and I started working out with weights at home. But now that we’ve moved, I need to find a gym.

I do things I think are positive, including advocating for shelter dogs. My energy is still great, and I can do the things that are important to me.

ACOG: How would you reflect on your menopause journey? 

Kari: Going through the changes brought on by menopause has been a roughly 15-year process. I just found these new vaginal inserts, something that has changed a lot about how menopause affected me sexually. The hair loss has taken a toll on me emotionally, as well as being an aesthetic challenge. I do struggle with the physical changes of aging. 

But I have a very supportive family. My husband has been patient and understanding, and my 26-year-old daughter has been instrumental in encouraging self-love. She’ll say, “Mom, you look great. Don’t be so hard on yourself.” She encourages me to embrace the stage I’m in, with an acceptance of aging. My mother says, “People are attracted to you because of who you are.” She is 92, and she is still beautiful and lively. I hope I can age as gracefully as she has.

ACOG: Is there anything you wish you had done differently for your health, or will try to do differently in the future?

Kari: I would exercise more and take more care of my body when I was younger. I started doing this after I had my daughter at age 40. If I had that healthier attitude earlier, I would already have had this mindset of doing things to improve my health – a “mind over matter” attitude. Since I started later in life, it was a newer experience to take this approach to menopause.

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This information is designed as an educational aid for the public. It offers current information and opinions related to women's health. It is not intended as a statement of the standard of care. It does not explain all of the proper treatments or methods of care. It is not a substitute for the advice of a physician. Read ACOG’s complete disclaimer.